My Testimony of LIFE ....

My Dear friends & family, I want to Thank those who have kept us in their heart's & for all the prayer's over the past year.
It has been a constant struggle for me and most certainly one of the most difficult time's I have ever had to go through for with out the love & support of my father I have truely had to stand alone for the first time in my 45 years of life. Something I have never thought I was prepared to do but looking back over my life, I was indeed prepared by those whom loved me the most.

"I myself am made of flaws,
stitched together with good intentions"
If you really want to get to know me,
pay close attention & listen! ....

I was taught most of all by my dearly departed Sister Ruth Ann that God's love is never ending! I was barley 11 years old when she passed and at such a very young age of 27,it was through her that I learned what life & death was all about.He is the "Almighty One" and He truely has had mercey on me through-out my entire life.He has healed my inner soul as well as my physical being and has restored me to complete the task in life that He has set forth for me. I Thank my sister for teaching me to pray and reach as high as I can and to never give up on HOPE matter what! The devil is a lier and only God can truely give you that eternal bliss when your mortal time is over. I strive for that peace & serinity when He says my time is earned and until then I will continue to reach as high as I have to, to complete my mission.

I can truely hear her whispering those sweet lullabies of love that she once did so many night's to her precious baby girl Lisa & I.



TO BE CONTINUED ....

I was a rebelious child. The baby girl of 6. Never fit in. I am the black sheep of the family. I was fat & ugly little girl and wore thick glasses. I never really had many friends. I felt like everybody hated me. I played with my little brother Paul, he was my best friend when we where little. All the neighborhood kids would make fun of me and call me names. I loved to read, I'd go up to the library & sit in the back room on the floor for hour's and just go off into a fantasy world wishing I was the one I was reading about. I remember the librian was Miss Linda. She would always give me snacks cause I would go right after school almost everyday. She would always give me just the right book to read to try and lift my spirits.
I was never really that close to my Mom when I was really little. Later in life we grew closer because I was the only one who stayed home with her all those years when everyone else went off to live their own lives.I remember crying alot. My Mom would always tell me to shut up or she'd give me something to really cry about but she never asked why I was crying. She never really understood. Back then I didn't understand, but now ... I can fully relate! I really needed my Mom, she was tired. She was sick a lot & worn out. Having 3 kids by the time she was 20 years old then 10years later, having 3 more. Life just took a toll on her very young. She was always tired, depressed, sad & lonely. Yes, I can fully relate now. Life is but a mixed up confusion of fantasy! ...

To be continued .......

My Poppa was my HERO!
Yes, growing up, I was Daddy's baby girl!
I couldn't wait for Sunday's to come cause then I got to see & spend time with my father. He worked 16 hour shift's in that coal mine and I barley ever got to see him. Up in the morning's before we woke and not home till after we were in bed asleep at night. I cherished our summer vacation's because we got to see a lot of him. But when my sister became ill, he became depressed and moody. Then even worse was when hurt his back on the job and couldn't work any longer. He didn't like not being able to provide for his family the way he was use to. He lost his faith in God, stopped going to church even. He became angry, bitter and very with~drawn from the family. He & Momma started drifting farther & farther from each other. Each sort of in their own cocoon's of depression & dispair. They felt helpless & weary. Life was playing major trick's on them. It's not natural to have to be planning in advance for your child's death! But LOVE in the end win's. They held tight to the only thing they had & knew, EACH OTHER TILL DEATH DID THEY PART! Both with broken heart's but mission accomplished and fullfilled to the end! Oh God how now, I DO UNDERSTAND!

They were all always there for us even when we felt they weren't. We weren't a rich family but we were blessed not to be poor. They always were looking after us, making sure we had everything we needed in life. Not always what we wanted but always what we needed. They struggled and sacrificed greatly to assure this! Momma always said, someday you will learn & understand, YES Momma, I now do indeed now know & understand.

To be continued .......

I was 11 year's old and my sister was dying. We didn't know when but knew that the uncurable cancer she had would be taking her away from us. I became very close to her cause she lived here with us and none of my other older brother's & sister's were around. Mommy was always busy, trying to care for her & keep up with the rest of the family at the same time. She was very weary & cried a lot! I learned at a very young age what LIFE & DEATH was all about through my sister's eye's! I learned not to take life for granted, and to live each day as it were your last! I learned that no matter what tragic event may come along, that God will always be there to pull you through!

TO BE CONTINUED ....

My Mother's always said to me I pray you never do when I would say I dont understand. I am my mother's daughter and sadly I do understand! "Let Go And Let God" cause some things in life you have to live, in order to understand! My darling's .... I LOVE YOU & I PRAY YOU NEVER UNDERSTAND!

TO BE CONTINUED .............